From The Owl's Perspective

2009-11-04T00:43:00.000-08:00

It is SO great to be back where I want to be. I feel rejuvenated once again. I'm in love.

2009-10-30T19:58:00.000-07:00

It's been quite some time since my last update. Needless to say life has been pretty hectic. I cannot wait for this year to be over so I can start anew. My dad has been getting really depressed and at this point I can't blame him one bit.

Things have been up and down regarding his health. He looks much better and is up and around. He takes his Corvette out and goes for long drives usually once a week. The doctors told him he needed to be opened up again for another surgery. A week later they told him that he only needed to have his bile tubes changed; which got done on Tuesday. Now they're saying once again that he needs surgery. I know they're doing the best they can but it's emotionally draining to get your hopes up only to have them shot down again.

I really hope this next surgery is the last. It's also taking a great toll on my mom. Everyday she seems like she has a little less to give because she is exhausted.

I'm doing okay; got my full time hours back but work still has it's share of bullshit. I really would like to move into sales but I got a 'corrective action' for not treating other associates with respect. It's been one big headache. On the bright side, I got to see Brand New last Thursday with Jesse. I was up front for the whole thing and I had a blast. It was probably the most fun I've had this year.

I've also had a few friend 'fallouts' this year. It's disappointing but there's not a whole lot I can do about it. I realized today that I got stood up twice in less than a week. It makes me truly appreciate the friends that are always there for me. Friends that stop on a dime when I need someone to talk to.

Jeanie is out of rehab now and I just don't know how to feel. I miss the hell out of the girl and I really would like to see how she is doing. We had so many memories that will never leave me and I'd be happy to create more.

I've recently let little things irk me, rather than looking at the bigger picture. I can attribute these things to the stressful happenenings in my life but I really need to work on it.

I just hope my dad will be okay.

Cheers,
Sammers

Brand New - Daisy Review

2009-09-08T23:57:00.000-07:00

It's been three years in the making but it's finally here; Brand New's latest effort, Daisy.

Now off the bat I will express that anyone hoping for another Deja Entendu will be disappointed. This album, although having some resemblance to Deja at a some moments, is a rugged noise-rock ballad.

The album opens with a sound clip of a woman singing what sounds like an old gospel tune. I was put off in a way at first because it seemed a bit strange to me. Jesse has said in interviews that he has a lot of various old tapes and hoped to use them. As I've given this album a few listens though, they've begun to grow on me.

The opening track "Vices" actual music doesn't kick in for about a minute. When it does begin though, it hits you hard and seemingly comes out of nowhere. Out of all the tracks on Daisy, this one is a far cry from anything we've heard from Brand New in the past. Although it may be hard to swallow at first, it gives a taste for what's to come.

The next track: "Bed," is a slower, more melodic showing. This one is the closest that any devout fans of Deja Entendu will relate to. With it's steady pace and inventive lyrics, it leaves you satisfied as it closes with a very eerie but quick guitar outro. "At The Bottom" seems like it would be better suited as a B-side as opposed to the first single off the album. Some of the lyrics seem to be lacking in this one more than any other track on the album. With lyrics like: "And there's a lake / and at the bottom you'll find all our friends / they don't swim 'cause they're all dead" seem a little too bland.

"Gasoline" is a track written entirely by Vin. I'm really pleased that Jesse passed the hat a bit and let Vin have more of a say in Brand New's musical direction. It's an excellent track with a very catchy drum beat. "You Stole" shows just how well Brand New can take a slower, more quiet track and come out of nowhere with raging guitar licks before returning to a more calm pace.

Next up is "Be Gone." It's basically a two minute gem with a catchy blues style acoustic guitar. The lyrics are almost entirely inaudible because of some effects, but it doesn't prove to be too bothersome. I like to view "Be Gone" as this albums "Untitled"(The Devil And God Are Raging Inside Me). "Sink" is my favorite track of the album. I feel it conveys the most energy and emotion than any of the others. Jesse's screaming parts on this track really show just how well it has progressed throughout the years.

"Bought A Bride" is the first track of this album in which I was able to hear in it's rough form; as Jesse started playing it at his solo shows last year. The lyrics are well-written but I feel as though the guitar and drums could have been more involved. Overall though it's a fairly solid track.

The next track is "Daisy," the title track of the album. It begins similarly to "Vices" in that it uses another audio clip for a brief moment before the track. A man is heard introducing the classic tune "Just As I Am" before Jesse's voice kicks in. As it does,there begis a repetition of the lyrics "I am" for the verses. It's a short diddy, but an enjoyable one.

The album begins to close up with "In A Jar." The verses in this track again bring us with some very clever lyrics. I especially enjoy the line: "Maybe I should rest, but on the seventh day / I've created nothing and I'm wide awake." The chorus kicks in with some more of Jesse's semi-audible screaming before returning to his softer lines. This is the only track on the album that flows into the next one. "Noro" is also the last track here; it's also the longest. A very catchy guitar riff repeats as Jesse explains why he's "on his way to hell." The distortion begins to pick up as the song progresses and gives us one hell of an interesting sounding guitar solo until the very end. After the music in "Noro" ends, the album finishes with the same woman continuing to sing the song from the start of "Vices." This seemed to me as an odd way to end it, but leave it to Brand New to keep surprising their fans.

Overall, Daisy is an amazing effort to verge the gap between melody and sudden bursts of vocal energy. I don't believe it will be very well received by fans who didn't enjoy The Devil And God Are Raging Inside Me, and it may even turn off some who view Deja Entendu as their best album. On a side note, it's the shortest album they have released in their near decade of putting out music. Brand New continues to progress in a different direction with every outing. I have to say, I'm still torn on whether I prefer this one over TDAG. Still, Daisy is a raw and edgy epic; and thus far for me, the best album this year. Don't miss it.

Cheers,
Sammers

2009-08-27T11:45:00.000-07:00

Hello again guys.

So a lot has finally calmed down around the house. My sister finally sent all of her family back to Michigan. None of them really needed to be there at all. Half of them had never even met my father. I assume they were there for the free trip to Arizona and not to visit my ill father. Oh well, they are gone now; the house is now a lot less hectic.

My sister Tammy flew in last week from New Jersey. This surprised everyone but me. I knew she was coming thanks to the magic of social networking, ha. I will tell you though, when my two sisters are in the same room you can cut the tension with a knife it was so palpable. I was glad to see her though, even if my other sisters side of the family was fuming.

And now in about a week, my sister and brother-in-law should be headed back to Michigan. I would not have been able to do much without them being there for my dad in terms of paperwork and speaking with doctors because I'm still working full-time. I appreciate that much, but there comes a time when it's finally right to pack up and go own with their own lives.
X
I found out, weeks before my dad had his 15 hour surgery, what was said between Dr. Nagazato and my father. When asked (in front of my sister and brother-in-law) if there was one person to take care of him during the recovery months that followed he answered quickly and firmly. "My son Sam will be there, he's 21 and he can take care of me," he told them. I later found out that this sent my 40-something sister into an angry attention starved frenzy as she didn't get recognition as the "golden child" from my dad that she has strived for all of my 21 years here.

There's an old saying that is relevant to this situation that I'd like to use. I'm paraphrasing but it goes something like: "visitors are like fish; they begin to smell after three days." Now you can imagine 4 months now of this odor getting worse and worse and I'm just relieved to know it's almost over. You know what, I don't care if they believe I'm the black sheep of my dad's children. My dad loves me unconditionally and nothing will ever change that.

I'm holding up. I have to learn this bile removal thing for my dad with this pump that removes excess. I'm back to full 40 hour weeks at work. It's been over a year since I've had my full hours; I hope it stays that way. I'm seriously considering switching to sales, either part time or full time. It's something that after experiencing it a little bit, I feel as though I have a knack for it.

Jeanie contacted me the other day. She told me she's in rehab; and I'm happy for her. I miss that girl to an extreme degree; I don't even think I've seen her this year at all. That girl was the world to me and not a day goes by that I don't think about her well-being.

As for music, I'd recommend Matisyahu's new album "Light." Also, Third Eye Blinds new album: "Ursa Major."

Anyway, until next time

Cheers,
- Sammers

2009-08-06T17:46:00.001-07:00

The day has finally come. My father is home from the hospital after one hell of a long time there. When I saw him yesterday I was very sad to see where his spirits were. He's lost a ton of weight, which is a given after nearly a month in the hospital after the surgery. What disturbed me is how much it seemed like he was ready to give up.

"There's nothing left of me," he said to me yesterday. I told him that we all knew going into this that it was going to be an easy or speedy recovery. On my way out of the hospital though my tears were flowing. He is the strongest man I've ever known in my life and I pray that he will start to feel better emotionally.

I myself am too physically and mentally exhausted. I got into a large argument with my sister and brother in-law over the amount of work they were seemingly imposing on my mother. And tomorrow, they're flying their immediate family out from Michigan to stay at the house. That's two 20 year old nephews, their two wives/girlfriends, and two children of theirs. Even the idea of this happening makes me want to lay down. Also, it's a horrible idea in my eyes because the last thing my dad needs in his recovery at home is kids running around screaming. I've decided I need to stay somewhere for a few days before I implode.

I got an offer to go to Las Vegas Friday and return Sunday night and I'm seriously starting to consider it. I realize though that I can't. My dad wants me to be around and I want to be around him and that's all that matters. It would be nice to have a little vacation but I'd probably end up spending too much money.

I just can't wait for everything to go back to NORMAL.

God damn, what a year 2009 has been. I'll be 22 in September and I'm really not looking forward to my birthday this year.

I am really looking forward to Brand New's new album: "Daisy." I've heard a few of the leaked demos and even heard one of them live when I saw Jesse Lacey last July. Which brings me to my next subject: Brand New is coming back to AZ in October! I'm going to get my tickets next Friday and I'm super stoked.

I'm at work right now listening to some Portugal. The Man (who are also coming to Tucson in September!) on my lunch break. Damn I hate closing, I end up smoking way more cigarettes, ha.

I guess I have a gal that's interested in meeting me through a mutal hangout with my coworker and his girlfriend; we'll see how that one goes. Not really going to just through hoops presenting myself as a potential mate so much. As Popeye says: "I y'am what I y'am and that's all that I y'am." =)

Cheers,
- Sammers

8/2

2009-08-02T21:20:00.000-07:00

This weekend wasn't the best. The highlight of the weekend is that my dad is up and moving around in the hospital. He has a CT scan tomorrow so he will most definitely be in there for a few more days. Thank you to everyone who has been inquisitive in making sure my dad is doing alright.

On Friday I took my Ranger to have the oil change. Turns out the vehicle needs a bit of maintenance. I for sure need a new timing belt and a new serpentine belt. They probably each have a few months left of life on them so I gotta get that taken care of. Of course there was a whole bunch of other unnecessary shit they concluded that my truck "needed." I'm going to buy the parts from my work and get them a lot cheaper. After that I'll pay my dad's friend for the labor. All together it should be around 200 bucks. Not bad considering I should be paying around $450, but it's another thorn in my hopes of saving for a laptop and paying off my root canal bill.

Saturday was alright. I got myself a new haircut; it looks nice. Kicked it with Jesse down on 4th pretty much. Some crap made me sad but it's something I've got to deal with.

I'm going to give "Watchmen" a shot.

Cheers,
- Sammers

2009-07-30T17:39:00.000-07:00

Hey again.
It's been a few days since my last update; so here goes. My dad's still in the hospital. They've removed one of the tubes draining fluid. He's becoming more and more energetic and hopefully he will be out by Saturday. I've become less scared as the weeks have progressed because my dad's getting better and better.

I hope to go out tonight; possibly with Jesse. I guess we may go to a birthday party. I know I haven't been out partying lately and I suppose I aught to make an appearance and catch up with friends. I'm almost positive there will be some people there who I know I don't want to see but I don't think that should hold me back. Jesse and I gotta get back to hanging out with him more.

I've also been writing a few new songs lately. They'll be along sometime soon.

I plan on getting out this weekend, maybe even with the guitar :)

Hit me up.

Cheers,
- Sammers

7/27 - Part one

2009-07-27T13:53:00.000-07:00

Hello again friends.

It's Monday and work has been miserable thus far. I'm off in two hours so hopefully everything runs smoothly. I'm starting to get sick of this wacky place. I'm really considering switching to a part time employee and going back to school. It's been almost 2 years since I've been in school and I'm seeing no real progress here in terms of my career advancement.

I'm going to start saving for a middle of the line Dell laptop for school and for the tuition costs. I'm thinking of taking a few business courses but I haven't decided entirely yet. I know I won't be able to take on a full time schedule with my dad's illness being my number once concern right now. I need a new laptop for sure though regardless. My old Windows XP PC is about four years old now and it's beginning to show it's age. I've actually nicknamed it "I Think I Can," ha. I'd hate to lose all of my music. (Not to mention my old Nickelodeon shows ha).

Anywho, I'll update again later today.

Cheers,
- Sammers

2009-07-26T15:46:00.000-07:00

Ahh Tucson, Arizona; home of many memories.

It also has quite the murky side. Ever since I lost all that weight in late 2004 I started to slowly emerge myself into the 'scene' of Tucson. The scene here is full of pretentious social networking sluts (and bros, emos, indies, etc) attempting to make a name for themselves.

Now before I start bitching any further about the wacky unnecessary cliques that dwell in our little spot in southern Arizona, I will say that there are some plus sides to the scene in Tucson. The music scene is great (most of the time). I do have a lot more fun going to the living room or going to Plush and forking out five bucks to see a live show (namely Portugal The Man's last show at Plush was amazing). 4th avenue is a great place to walk around and explore the many freaks and geeks that lurk on that side of town. You don't have to spend a lot of money either (unless you wander into some wacky Native American tourist shop). For the record, Plush IS my favorite bar on 4th avenue. Mostly because even on weeknights you can just rest easy on the couch with a scotch & coke and simply enjoy an ambient jazz band do their thing without being bothered by the Bro's & Ho's that lurk around O' Maleys.

Anywho, onto the downside of Tucson. As I slowly emersed myself into the "who knows who" or to be more blunt "who's fucking who" side of the scene, I noticed less and less substance through the people involved. Most of this was involved in simple conversation. You could'nt simply debate or have a meaningful conversation with someone without them spouting off about some pierced, tattoed "celebrity" of Tucson being a dick to some innocent newbie in town.

And after that Skrappys shooting that took place, (I believe one person was killed? Not too sure on that one) it went downhill even further. I've said it before and I'll say it again and I don't care who's life it affects because if you look further into my text you'll see it has an all around peaceful message. The only "tragedy" that went down at Skrappys was that ALL the straight-edge "CREW" morons werent fatally wounded. Honestly Tucson, that's what you've become? A bunch of idiot crews? I don't even know the names; all I know is if you have some 'gnar' thing or anything for that matter in front of your socially networked nickname, you're a piece of shit.

/end rant

Cheers,
- Sammers

2009-07-25T13:50:00.000-07:00

Greetings again.

Well for the 2nd time, the root canal didn't take. It started bleeding too much again and they had to stop, put a temporary crown on it, and put me on a 3rd antibiotic. Eh, I didn't mind too much though. The doctor decided to give me 6 valiums before the procedure to calm me down. We also smoked a cigarette outside while waiting for the numbing agent to kick in. He's quite the cool dentist I must say.

Afterwords Drew's family and I went to Broadway & Pantano to some annual Tucson wings convention thing. Basically you spend $10 and go in a room with 16 wings vendors and you receive 2 wings from each vendor. It was quite fun considering I pretty much snuck in for free. We also received free beer tickets from some lady. After that Drew's dad witnessed someone who worked there throwing away a bunch of tickets. He snatched them; and thus we had more Nimbus.

I'm hoping this weekend is rather eventful; regardless of my lack of funds. Hit me up.

Cheers,
- Sammers

2009-07-23T20:48:00.000-07:00

Hello again friends,
My dad has returned from the hospital (again). He's feeling much better than he did the last time he was home. He's not on any pain medication and is not complaining of pain. He's eating regular solid food, watching his diet, and moving around the house on his own. It's going to be a slow recovery but I'm just happy to see him home.

It's starting to eat at me that I haven't been out to any social gatherings lately because of all of this but I also recognize that it's for the best that I stay close to home. I do want to get myself back out there though and possibly find myself a lovely lady. Another reason I haven't gone out a whole lot lately is this silly $2700 I still am paying back to the dentist for work I'm having done. Speaking of which, they're finishing my root canal tomorrow afternoon; eep.

I really do hope things start to pick up for me, because so far, this year has given me hell.

Cheers,
- Sammers

2009-07-21T13:47:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone. I've got an update on my dad. Around ten o' clock yesterday morning my dad was complaining of having short breath and a bile taste in his mouth. His blood pressure and heart rate were both very low. The paramedics were called and once again he had to return to the Northwest hospital. His heart rate and blood pressure were back to normal when they got him on oxygen.

The doctor said that part of the incision on his stomach (and it's a LARGE 'L' shaped incision) was coming undone and that's what's causing the bile to leak both onto his bandages and into his mouth which caused the nasty taste.

He will be in the hospital for the next few days most likely, which he is not thrilled about having been home for 3 days. I personally believe they just let him out a tad bit too soon. He's in high spirits though and is taking it one day at a time.

I'm still living one day at a time as well. This family is driving me more and more insane though. I really wish my dad was in better health; enough that I'd be able to rent a house from him. It'd be way out in Marana, but hey you can see the stars out there and there's plenty of room for shindigs. He's going to be recovering for some time though. I'm taking care of my coworker's girlfriend's cats while he's in New York for a week, something I regret doing now. He's being quite a jerk, even though I'm doing him a huge favor.

It'd be nice to go to sleep for a few months and let things blow over.

2009-07-19T20:52:00.000-07:00

That last week was something else. There's so much chaos going on around me it's hard to keep my head straight. Problem is, it's most likely going to get worse in the coming days; stress wise. I'm going to have a cigarette and kick back tonight before my work week begins. I'm going to lay down and watch Burn After Reading. Still have yet to see it. Coen Brother's movies are always a gamble, but Clay Pigeons was good so I may just enjoy this. Then again, The Nightmare Before Christmas happens to be in the Netflix instant que as well. Lately I've been falling asleep listening to the Wristcutters soundtrack; it's been a few months since I've sat and watched that movie but the soundtrack always helps me sleep for some reason.

I wish I could say I'm mentally prepared for the coming weeks; but then again who can say they are completly mentally prepared for anything coming their way?

Cheers,
- Sammers

Seven -slash- Eighteen -slash- Two Thousand and Nine

2009-07-18T14:51:00.000-07:00

I really wish I could take a vacation right now. Not a vacation in the traditional sense either. I'd like to save up some money (maybe sell a bunch of stuff I don't use anymore on Craigslist), and get myself a motorcycle. No, it's not a crotch rocket that I want; although they are fun to ride. I'm talking a straight H-O-G. I'd like to spend a week or two just riding across the country, stopping along the way for whatever necessary. Throw my iPod in, rock some Thin Lizzy playlist, and just enjoy every sunset.

Ah but alas, I've gotta stay close to home for quite some time. There's a nurse coming daily to change my dad's bandages, do the ocassional bloodwork, and all around make sure he's recovering properly. Next week I guess there's even more family (nephews, and screaming kids) showing up. I don't think I'll be able to handle that very well. I suppose I'll try and relinquish my bedroom to them and stay at a friends house or something. I mean, I love family being around and all, but there's only so much a 21 year old can handle being around screaming step-kids.

Work has been rather hectic as well. It seems every day that I come in there's some new "procedure" in play that has no real value or merit; just put in place as some sort of placebo to make corporate believe things are evolving. There also seems to be a new manager every other week. I'm gradually becoming more and more jaded on the corporate landscape. It's all dogshit and everyone who actually ENJOYS contributing to the company are those who've already brown-nosed their way to the top. I need to go back to school so I take this shit less seriously.

It's too much of a gamble.

Well that's my update for the day. I'll leave you with a music recommendation if you get the time. It will be worth your while; I can promise you that. Portugal. The Man's new album is definately a keeper. If you enjoyed "Censored Colors" than I'm sure you'll enjoy this one. It has fewer slow paced songs but it's still an enjoyable album regardless. Also, Brand New has announced a release date and title for their new album. "Daisy" is set to be released on September 22nd, 2009.

Cheers,
Sammers

My Dad

2009-07-18T10:44:00.000-07:00

So my dad has been home for about a day now. After being in the hospital for 9 days, he's really happy to finally be out of there. He's still very tired but we're making sure he takes the time to get up and walk around every hour or so. He's not on any pain medication and he has no complaints of pain. So as it turns out, my dad has bile duct cancer. Bile duct cancer is a malignant growth in the ducts that carry bile from the liver to the small intestine. Cancer of the bile duct is rare and is most prevalent in people ages 50 to 70. Approximately 2,000 cases of bile duct cancer are diagnosed in the United States each year. The tumor sometimes blocks the bile ducts, which can cause jaundice, clay-colored stools, itching, loss of appetite, weight loss, fever, chills or abdominal and back pain. These tumors usually grow slowly and spread gradually. In many cases, bile duct cancer tumors are diagnosed in the advanced stages.

We do not know if the cancer is completely gone yes; but it is certain that this type of cancer cannot be treated with chemotherapy. The good thing is, if this cancer had not been caught when it did, the doctor said my dad would have had roughly 30 days.

Naturally my pops is a little scared and I'm just trying to be there for him. I slept on the couch right outside his bedroom and gave him a little bell to ring whenever he needs anything.

Life has been so damned stressful, but I'm hoping for the best.

Cheers,
- Sammers

Uno

2009-07-17T21:13:00.000-07:00

This is my first post. I plan on updating on here quite frequently and quite extensively. Expect less from the other wacky social networking sites.

Cheers,
-Sammers