The day has finally come. My father is home from the hospital after one hell of a long time there. When I saw him yesterday I was very sad to see where his spirits were. He's lost a ton of weight, which is a given after nearly a month in the hospital after the surgery. What disturbed me is how much it seemed like he was ready to give up.

"There's nothing left of me," he said to me yesterday. I told him that we all knew going into this that it was going to be an easy or speedy recovery. On my way out of the hospital though my tears were flowing. He is the strongest man I've ever known in my life and I pray that he will start to feel better emotionally.

I myself am too physically and mentally exhausted. I got into a large argument with my sister and brother in-law over the amount of work they were seemingly imposing on my mother. And tomorrow, they're flying their immediate family out from Michigan to stay at the house. That's two 20 year old nephews, their two wives/girlfriends, and two children of theirs. Even the idea of this happening makes me want to lay down. Also, it's a horrible idea in my eyes because the last thing my dad needs in his recovery at home is kids running around screaming. I've decided I need to stay somewhere for a few days before I implode.

I got an offer to go to Las Vegas Friday and return Sunday night and I'm seriously starting to consider it. I realize though that I can't. My dad wants me to be around and I want to be around him and that's all that matters. It would be nice to have a little vacation but I'd probably end up spending too much money.

I just can't wait for everything to go back to NORMAL.

God damn, what a year 2009 has been. I'll be 22 in September and I'm really not looking forward to my birthday this year.

I am really looking forward to Brand New's new album: "Daisy." I've heard a few of the leaked demos and even heard one of them live when I saw Jesse Lacey last July. Which brings me to my next subject: Brand New is coming back to AZ in October! I'm going to get my tickets next Friday and I'm super stoked.

I'm at work right now listening to some Portugal. The Man (who are also coming to Tucson in September!) on my lunch break. Damn I hate closing, I end up smoking way more cigarettes, ha.

I guess I have a gal that's interested in meeting me through a mutal hangout with my coworker and his girlfriend; we'll see how that one goes. Not really going to just through hoops presenting myself as a potential mate so much. As Popeye says: "I y'am what I y'am and that's all that I y'am." =)

Cheers,
- Sammers